Week in Review

I have been wanting to write for the longest time ever.

For once, after so long, that my writing mojo AND the intention to actually sit down and craft out a proper posting is back.

Too bad - it didn't come back in appropriate time.

I never wanna complaint about having too much work; I always think that work can never be too much. You just gotta sit down and clear things off one by one. I feel like if I were to start complaining, that would be the start of me looking for excuses.

And I never like finding excuses.

Irony as it might sound (coz I still find it sounds like an excuse) - but the pile of work did partially contributed to my absence since my last posting.

Now that I've finally gotten some time to write - suddenly all the thoughts and moments that I wanted to jot down got lost in my train of thoughts. Can't even remember why I decided to create this new posting.

Hah.

But if I were asked to force out something to describe/summarise what I wanted to say - I could only describe the trace of feelings that were left in me.

Though it will never go away completely.

Throughout the past week - I was down, I was sad, I felt like nothing good about myself. Slow, not-efficient, draggy and not productive. I doubt myself for my ability. To the point where I had to tell Jojo that I am upset. Which is really rare coz I seldom express my feelings to any else.

Family included.

It was that bad. I felt as though I was by myself - the bad kind of 'by myself' - and I don't know who to fall back to. The feeling of having no support system sucks. So bad that I didn't know what I was doing, except for moving forward.

It was painful.

But thank God - through this pain I saw light and hope.

I wasn't actually 'alone' - I had colleagues that turned friends where I could rely on for a bit when I am too tired.

I wasn't tired by myself - my comrades were with me. I am tired to core - but I had friends who genuinely care for me. There are those who beg me to go home; there are those who stayed with me for dinner before heading home; those who gave me words of encouragement although they are no longer with the company; and there are those who come back just because they wanted to keep me company.

I felt so loved.

And thank to the combined strength, things get better by the end of the week and I thank God for giving me such nice people in my life.

Through the whole ordeal and now that I have time to clear my mind to think - it reminded me of something.

That 1 small negativity can ruin the whole positivism that one could possibly have. That's scary - and the more I should always, always remind myself that negativity can consume everything good about myself. At the same time, remember those who are by your side when you're at your worst.

Thank God I remembered to turn around and imprint those kind faces in my mind.

And I guess with all these people that I have with me, I am ready to go move forward once again.




Just like how Becca always does it. =)